fearless...?

"Why not go out on a limb?  Isn't that where the fruit is?" --  Frank Scully
 

I took a break from the studio for a little mother and daugther time.  Sweet Pea and I went to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. A sweet film set in a gorgeous locale.  Much of the film revolves around the idea of embracing change, accepting it as a bonus rather than a negative.  How do you embrace change?  Do you accept it or let it run right over you?

I used to be fearless. I would buy a plane ticket to Europe that morning and be gone that evening, not to return for 7 months.  I jumped head first into business, walking the streets of Manhattan selling my designs door-to-door.  I cold called galleries.  I was fierce, fearless and loved the rush that came from the unknown.  I embraced change.

Where did that woman go?! 

I'm older these days, but not necessarily wiser. Yes, caution is a good thing, but it can strangle one.  I am set to go on vacation in a bit and I'm having the hardest time planning my itinerary.  I mean seriously, does a vacation really need this much planning?  I'm driving so I may have the freedom to wander at will, but I can't go without having rooms secured.  My younger self slept in empty train cars if need be.  

A few years back a friend sold her house and put everything she owned into storage.  She was rolling the dice to join the Peace Corps.  At 50+ years old she took off on the adventure of a life time.  These days she lives in Thailand teaching elementary school.  I admire her courage.  She kept thinking she was crazy, but once she was accepted and stationed, everything clicked into place for her.  In a sense, she's home as her heart is where it needs to be.

I'm not saying I'm unhappy, but yes, I'm a bit restless.  As my daughter matures and settles into her own life, I finally have time to focus on myself.  Let me tell you, it's a very scary prospect indeed.  Do I return to remnants of my younger self or is there a new role for me to play?

The pic is of my friend Kate and me in our last year of high school.  I look at thw face of my younger self and see the mischief.  Maybe a vacation will help me dig through the layers and find my courage to once again jump off the high dive and embrace change.  

Maybe.

Comments

[Alexis]

I really hope you do!

[Lindsay Obermeyer]

Thank you, Alexis. I hope so too. Nice to know other are out their cheering me forward.

[Melony Bradley]

Lindsey,

What a great and thought provoking post. I love blog land beacause there you can see that your peers have the same experiences and thoughts as you! I have undergone some changes lately and it has not been easy. I hope your vaca provided you with rest and relaxation so you can find your way! Cute photo, BTW

[Lindsay Obermeyer]

Melony,

Thank you for you support. Change is never easy. The trick from my perspective is to accept it rather than be fearful of it. Relearning fearless is a bigger process than I ever anticipated.

I like the photo too. Quite a shock to see it when visiting with my friend while in LA. :-)