serendipity

learning to accept with grace

"Photography takes an instant out of time, altering life by holding it still."  -- Dorothy Lange

When the catalog for Chicago Artist Month (CAM) arrived, my daughter was flipping through it when she stopped at this image of me.  

"Mom, this doesn't look like you.  I mean it is you, but it's not."

She went on to explain that I don't look like a mom, but an artist.  I laughed.  I'm both, right?  I didn't get it.  I'm a little thick.  She saw an underlying confidence that I couldn't.  A confidence that has held me afloat during years of struggle to hold onto my art practice through the thick and thin of life.

I felt awkward having the picture taken.  I'm not one to jump in front of the lens, especially when I have cold sores the size of an elephant.   The day was warm, the beginning of a heat wave.  My mind was on getting to the trade show where I had a booth.  I couldn't relax to enjoy the moment.  The photographer Maria Ponce was great.  She kept ordering me to move this way and that.  I finally sank into the role as her model, letting her get on with the job she was paid to do.  

Me.  A model.  Good grief.

Being chosen as one of the featured artists is an honor.  I've worked hard to reach this point.  But so have many other local artists.  What makes me so special?! Nothing.  But as my daughter keeps reminding me, I should be thankful.  And I am.  

I am very thankful.  Hopefully the attention will allow The Red Thread Project® to grow.  I am excited by the number of venues hosting Red Thread Stitching Studios.  I have a great site for the installation and I learned last week that the performance will be at the Chicago Cultural Center as part of "What's your art?" on December 3rd.  Meida McNeal confirmed today that she will choreograph the performance.   I organized all of this on my own, without funding and not one intern, just the occassional help of a few friends. (Thanks!)  I've worked 12-14 hour days for several months.  I can't believe it is all real.  The official launch is in just two days.

Learning to accept everything with grace has been my biggest challenge.   I still feel self conscious, but I keep in mind a recent conversation with  Mr. Pringle, director of the Harlem Theater Company. He asked me if I was good at what I do.  I think so. " Don't you know?," he asked.  Okay, he had me. Yes, I am good at what I do.  "That's better."  Is this the part when I take a bow?  "Why not!"  

 I was kidding, but he wasn't.  I understood his point.  He wanted me to see in myself what my daughter was seeing in the photo.  I'm here.  I've survived a ton of crap.  Accept the kudos as part of the package.  I wouldn't have made it this far in life and art without some sense of confidence and endurance.

If Mom were still alive, she'd give me a hug and then serenade me with an ear piercing rendition of Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman!"  She played the song until the record srcatched.  

I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

Suddenly, I feel 13 years old with an urge to roll my eyes.  

cuteness to die for

"A leapord cannot change his spots." -- Proverb

I found this amazing image of newborn leapords through a link found on Modish.  Aren't they the cat's meow?!  The way they are being held reminds me of Cerberus, the three-headed dog of Greek mythology, except to die for cute rather than scary ferocious.

There are more images of them on Flicker.  You have to take a look.  I love the pic of Mama Leaopord with one her babies.  I certainly know the feeling. I think aspects of motherhood are universal.

portrait

 

"I need a picture of you."  Oh, ugh.  I hate posing for the camera almost as much as eating okra, dusting furniture and washing my car.  The curator's request came while I was in St. Louis.  She needed a large file of which I had none.  So, I asked my friend Davide to take one while on our way to a coffee shop with Gina.  This one is actually not too bad.  I don't look like a complete nervous goof, though my orange glasses dominate my face.  When I update my prescription, should I get a tamer color pair of frames or continue with fun?  Sigh.  Oh, well.   The curator is happy and I'm not totally embarrassed.  

By the way, if you haven't guessed.  I no longer have uber short hair as seen in my blog bio pic.  It's now shoulder length with plenty of what I call "sparkly bits," aka grey hair, which form a lovely streak when pulled back into a pony tail.  

ragdale

 

 "Keep your love of nature, for that is the true way to understand art more and more."  

-- Vincent van Gogh

   

 
  

i love candy!

"It is not the form that dictates the color, but the color that dictates the form."  --  Hans Hoffmann

I love candy!  Can you tell?  Lollipops.  Jelly beans.  Sweet tarts.  It was inevitable that such yumminess would find its way into my designs.  

The Etsy shop has and still is a learning curve.  The most challenging aspect to date - other than raking in the sales - is getting good photographs.  The decision to not take a photography class in college was as short sighted as it gets.  I'm gaining confidence with the process and am figuring out how to handle backdrops, but haven't a clue as how to get a decent photo of my jewelry - hence why they aren't being shown on Enjolive at present.  

I'm really loving this combination of machine felted knitting with needle felted adornment.  I have much more freedom than with intarsia or fair isle.  I want color here?  No problem.  And there?  Yes, I think I'll add some orange.....  The feeling is akin to my leaving behind weaving in favor of embroidery.  I don't have to plan everything in advance and can let color be my leader.

photo phooey

"There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs."  --  Ansel Adams

Cover your ears.  That's right.  Go ahead.  Cover them.  AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRGH!   You can uncover your ears now.  

I am getting pretty good at photographing my daughter.  That's the problem.  I am not trying to sell photographs of my daughter, I am trying to sell the hats featured in the photographs!  How do catalog photographers do it?  I was flipping through the catalogs for Garnet Hill, J. Jill and others, each with models featuring the latest styles.  I see the models, but what I notice first are the clothes.  

I thought of using a mannequin.  The vintage ones from the 1940's suit the style of my work, but are out of my price range.  Sigh....  Where is a benefactor when you need one?

   

The learning curve to start, manage and update an online shop is absorbing the bulk of my days.  I read photo books.  I fiddle with my camera.  I make various attempts at understanding geek speak so I can track movement on my site.  In the meantime I keep upping the knit and crochet challenges.  Who has a clear explanation for single motif intarsia knitting in the round?  After 3 hours at it this evening I finally put down my needles.  My brain is full of lint.  

I recently inherited a stash of my grandmother's patterns.  I loved her cravats.  Very girly.  This is one of my versions.  You can see another at Enjolive.

learning curve

“Learning is like rowing upstream; not to advance is to drop back” -- Chinese proverb

Today was like shooting the rapids.  You race along only to hit a rock, push off, hit another rock and continue forward slightly fearful and thoroughly exhilarated.  

Last night I had borrowed a friend's set of lights and tripod in preparation for "the shoot."  I set everything up.  Took 50 or so photographs and didn't like a single one.  The color was off and the images looked static.  In short, they were ho hum boring.  I gave up and had a glass of wine.  

I realized this morning that I needed to do two things - get a model and play.  I was taking the whole experience of photographing my hats far too seriously.  After a few more attempts with the tripod, I gave up and walked outside.  Baby Girl acted as model.  Even her ladyship, Monster Pup, got into the act at one point.   

After a few hours I had a few good shots and had learned a ton.  Hooray!  Now comes the task of editing and loading them up for the grand opening this Monday.  

I think I'll go make myself another cup of coffee.

flower fun

"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." --  Buddha

I've been playing with my camera, learning how to use its numerous dials and buttons.  

Are you sensing a theme here? Look at what I get to pick for dinner tonight - a lovely purple pepper and some rainbow chard.  

photo 101

"You don't take a photograph, you make it"  --  Ansel Adams

My new camera is due to arrive tomorrow.  I am so excited.  I've been without a camera most of the summer as my reliable point and shoot broke.  Literally.  It was in my purse. My purse fell off a table and crashed to a concrete floor.  Hence, one broken camera.  I still need to see if it can be repaired, as I like having a small camera to carry around, but when considering my current needs, I upgraded to a Nikon D40.  It's a low end SLR with two lenses.  Woo wee, I am going to be so swanky!

Without doubt, there will be a learning curve.  Get ready for the experiments.  I ordered a few how to photo books while I was at it.  Since starting this blog, I have fallen in love with photography and want to learn as much as I can.  I have few regrets, but one is never taking a college course in photography.  I think it should be a college requirement for all BFA students, along with the business of art and basic website design.

The photograph featured above was given to me by one of my former weaving students from my days when I taught at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago.  She was never without camera in hand.  What little I have learned has come from trial and error and a few pointers from my friend Sandi who took the above photograph while at my studio earlier this summer.  She always makes it look so easy.